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Fairy tales usually begin with "Once upon a time..." but this is no fairy tale. I'm the storyteller here, hello, and all my blog-worthy tales begin with... SO THERE'S THIS GUY...

*evil cackle, thunder crackle*

I'll just go ahead and first say: A for effort and I bet sappy romantic SSB's will find it sweet. And I dig the "The sun is hidden well behind, a sky of white has frozen time, and all responsibilities delayed" lyric. But there. All positive thoughts gone.

So there's this guy... he gave me a *hmm, how shall I call this crap* slideshow for my birthday. Lost in all the birthday pm's *thanks y'alls btw* was a link to a youtube clip, which at first I dared not click for fear of opening a sex video. You know how the internets are nowadays. Anyway, the link was for a slideshow of my, err, photos snagged from this account *criiiiinge* - butwaithere'smore - and Snowy Day [Val Emmich] was playing in the background.

*slow clap*

ANO AKO, PATAY?!

Or sige na nga... one more try...

ANO TOH, AVP PARA SA DEBUT?!

Damn, I'm to (c)old for this.

shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit...

(repeat 10x)

wow, profound.

WAH.

There must be some correlation between the pouring rain and having the urge to cry. Water-beckons-water Theory, eh? I'm just thankful I'm not peeing all over the place.

On a totally unrelated subject: Crucify the perv, hang the slut, and let's move on to legislating more relevant laws, shall we?

ironic how today's graduation means absolutely nothing to me. come to think of it, last year's and this year's grad are both blah. last year's was simply a rite of passage from college to graduate school since we have been stuck in ateneo for another year anyways. this year, it's purely ceremonial since there's nothing worth celebrating. sure, a masters degree in finance sounds woah, but did i even learn anything? was it even worth it? maybe not.

I dragged my fleepy (f*cking sleepy) self to the mall this afternoon and had a traumatic-slash-hilarious experience. I went inside this clothing store (itago nalang natin sa pangalang Folded & Hung) to look around. One of dem salesguys greeted me, and since I was in a fairly good mood (Fact: I usually ignore salespeople because they're so frikken kulit and I'm bitchy like dat), I smiled back. Then I speedwalked (because the goal is to ditch potentially clingy salespeople) to the part of the store where they keep the EDTs because my roommate mentioned that F&H had an EDT that smelled almost like Body Shop's Moonflower. I was still checking out the scents when I saw salesguy walk into the dressing room. He was holding a pair of jeans and a couple of shirts so, oops, hindi pala siya F&H employee (damn F&H for making their salespeople wear casual clothes and confusing me).

So I found the EDT that my roommate was talking about and then I walked to the cashier to pay for it. The counter was right beside the dressing room...  where I saw not-salesguy wearing nothing but boxers. I thought the poor guy was just being temporarily stupid so I went near the adjacent empty stall to discreetly say...

"Umm, excuse me, I think you forgot to close the curtain"

And do you know what this sleazebag did?! He peeked from one side of the curtain and said, "Like what you see?"

Creep. Creep. Creep.

I stared back. Are you fuggin serious. I looked around for hidden cameras (like I'd know what a hidden camera would look like) then decided to speedwalk out of the store. But before I could leave the store premises, not-salesguy-but-sleazebag grabbed my arm and said, "I'm sorry, I dint know how else to get your attention. You walked away the first time I tried."

You got my attention alright. Ktnxbye.

...was what I should have said.

Instead... I JUST RAN.

Wahahaha.

The guy actually looked kinda cute... BUT HELLO.

This is worse than getting hit on by a freshman from a Ma11 class I subbed for. This is far more disturbing than watching a bouncer-sized guy apply lip gloss (Note: Using his pinky!) in the middle of a Ma19 midterm exam.

What a manslut.

(major kababawan. i blame it on too much free time. normally, i'd just go "oh well, f*ck it" but since i have time to rant, I WILL rant. karma? wtf, bring it on)

From Luis:
"5 good reasons to go out with Luis this Thursday:
1) May solutions manual ako to Hull Chapter 18
2) Gets ko yung PDE discretization thing
3) Sana may program na ko by tomorrow... na gumagana
4) Kaya ko ituro solution ni Geran sa EVT and may sarili na rin akong solution
5) I know this great place to eat burgers, fries, mcnuggets...
Please say yes"

isang malaking...
ASA KA GAGO!

One... Ano tingin mo sakin, BOBO?? Kaya ko sagutin yung buong Hull pare, hindi ko kelangan ng solutions manual. Please lang. Ano na nga grade mo sa AMF271?! Ay hindi "A"...?
Two... Hindi ko lang "gets" yung PDE discretization thing, nagawa ko na yung discretization part ng homework.
Three... I don't see kung paano makakagawa ng matinong scilab program yung mga tao diyan na mali-mali pa yung scilab commands during class or yung mga kailangan pa magtanong sa katabi para mag-debug ng program or yung mga hindi capable of writing a scilab program and taking notes at the same time.
Four... Kung may solution na si Geran sa EVT and kung friend ko naman si Geran, bakit kelangan ko pa itanong sayo?
Five... WHAT IS CHEAP?!

When a guy is being THIS insulting (which is his idea of making a good impression), you can't help but throw all modesty aside. This isn't the first time that this has happened with Luis. Hindi naman ako ma-pride na tao and I try my best to be understanding to freaks, but sometimes rage just takes over and...

ANG KAPAL TALAGA!!!

I know I'm not exactly one of the smartest in our AMF batch pero hindi naman ako bobo noh. Well, wala naman saming bobo. Could it be that I sometimes border on self-deprecating when we talk about academics? I'm not the type to say naman na "Ah dali nga ng long test, nasagot ko lahat," di tulad ng iba dyan. And sometimes feeling ko hindi pa enough yung understanding ko of a lesson when that's about all the understanding anyone can ever get. So siguro feeling niya na hirap ako and I guess he's trying to be nice? Uhuh, sure. Sino ba diyan yung sobrang competitive and grade-conscious na hindi pa enough maging conscious sa sariling grades, kelangan pa alamin ang grades ng iba para ma-rank sila? Sino ba diyan yung nabibigla pag mataas yung grades ng supposedly lower-ranking person?

And yet you wonder you don't have much friends?!

Ang galing galing mo kasiiiiii. Idol kita sobra...

I SHOW YOU QUATRO EH, POTA.

Dude, just a little tip: If you want to make friends with people, you don't insult them. If you like a girl, you make her feel good about herself. And you don't even have to go for flattery, just... DON'T. INSULT. HER. I mean, it doesn't take a genius to figure that out, right? Or is it asking too much? If it is, well, I can always politely ask you to PLEASE... go to hell. 

I can't tell if he's just majorly dense or if I'm going too easy on him. Orrrrr... both. Hirap kasi, I've already crossed over from anger to pity. And I can't pity a poor pathetic person then tear him apart.

So... I'll let him live his poor pathetic life... Try to be nice... After all, three months and I'll never see that loser again.

i was actually able to "interview" the EIC of the varsitarian about a year ago. and yes, he is the most arrogant, egotistic person i have ever met. i remember rushing out of their publications room and mumbling "I love Ateneo. I love the Guidon. I love our EIC." and feeling sooooo great about myself. srsly, i feel so sorry for his pompous ass. i just asked one question and he rambled on for 2.5 hours. and only the first 10 minutes were relevant. the rest, i dunno, i must've repressed them.

one of the many people who deserve a "Hindi ko talaga maintindihan kung ano ipinagyayabang mo."

pumasa kaya ng Ateneo yun? why the attacks? Hm.

haaaay, there's no cure for the insecure.

ehhh.

Lose the eyeliner. Please.

I know, I know. Don't judge the err- album by it's cover. But after listening to the tracks (and after watching Michael Johns in Trinoma, woot woot!)...

ehhhhf.

Sounds too much like his pre-AI album (Analog Heart), but I liked "Lie" though. And "Life on The Moon"... and "Mr. Sensitive" so sige na nga, I guess it's not that bad. Sorry David Cook for taking advantage of wutta-technologies (aka torrent downloads) but I promise to buy your album. Or have somebody wrapped around my finger to buy it for me. Heehee.

And I'm still watching your concert in January, so hello DC funds (as soon as we're through with Baler funds), make sure it's better than MJ's mini-concert. Or else.

Or else I'm crossing over to the dorky David Archuleta side. But ohhh...

ehhhhhhhhhhw.

No... No... No.

This is way toooo cute:

 

Pluey's Ooh La Lace.

Me want for Christmas. Or as pre-secondsem gift. Costs only *gasp* Php2,299. Yeymwahtnx.

I bet the rain won't make me feel so depressed when I have these puddlestompers.

(Visit plueysmanila.com for more designs)

 

 

 

 

ORRRRRR... These from Victoria's Secret. RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR. Whu-peesh!

Moddafrikken load of senti-ness, courtesy of Zah's recently uploaded album of so-not-recent photos. You dint hear it from me but... ohcrapthisisgonnabeacheeseball... these guys made first sem bearable. And maybe 'twas worthwhile after all so I'm coming home (to the place where I belong, where your love has always been enough for meeeee) for second sem.

Second sem will almost surely (Double U! Pee! One!) be a 5-month long crapfest of absurd theorems and a mind-blowing display of inconsistency and stupidity by our favorite genius in the Math Dept.

But more importantly, second sem will be the it's-ne'er-too-late-to-change sem (especially for Zah!). As for me... well... yerrr lookin' at the new Gra[n]dAss (Graduate Assistant. Shortened and hottened) of the Math Department. WoahLOLz. When I say change, I MEAN change. Big time.

But that doesn't mean I will forget everything I learned during the 1st sem:

1. Si Zah... THE BEST!...

AteneoBlueEaglesfan-poser

Shutter-shades model (PA. NA. LO.)

Escalator picture-taker

Leader sa shopping (a.k.a. TokyoTokyo-finder in Greenhills)

Master Pout-er with the natural pout

...just to mention a few (aside from being the best BBP [bato-bato-pik] challenger-slash-loser, laptopz dealer, root-word expert, Nicole Scherzwangwang half-half-half-half-sister, co-producer of The Stipulation, and the ultimate sabaw [Zah-baw] companion)

2. Bawal maligo ng 9pm or 9am because cats have 9 lives and cats hate water. Don't argue.

3. Rona and Ate Marshy are half-sisters. And naniwala si Geran.

4. I missed eating solid food and pigging out is fun...

Right before Lacsamana class in Salcedo

With bangus sisig and with Zah's high school friends

Pag nahanap ang TokyoTokyo sa Greenhills (sorry umulit yung pic, pero milestone talaga 'toh sa shopping experience namin. thanks Zah, you're the best leader. nalunod ako sa demerits)

Pag may Reese's Krispy Kreme dougnuts (yay!) and andyan lang si Artadi sa tabi-tabi

While studying in our new pre-nakawan-days 607 unit

On Zah's 13th maturity-age birthday and pag may free clothes from Freeway

When the Finals Week is over and we don't take a shower for a day

AY! May shrimp na sa KFC. Pare?

Pre-TropicThunder (you've been a baaaaad boy father...)

5. We. Shopping. Addicts.

[Check out this pic and the previous one. These were probably taken at least 3 months apart. I was wearing the same shirt. Jaah was wearing the same shirt. Great minds, i tell ya.]In the never-ending but-wait-there's-more stalls in Greenhills Theater Mall

So bring it on second sem... and winter season:

Lamig sa Pinas.

19 of my friends have gotten knocked up or have given birth in the past 3 months.

And these girls are the same age as I am. Give or take a couple of years.

Pressure?! Hahaha.

And just in case me folks stumble upon this blog (which I highly doubt, considering me mom can't even log-in the computer and me dad still refers to it as blag)... Hi mom! Hi dad! Aren't you glad your daughter is a perfect nose-in-the-books angel? That the reason she gets home at an unholy hour is to group study all friggin' night long? That her hands get frisky only with her keyboard and calculator? Truly, she deserves a reward. Possibly a brand new SUV. Orrrrrr... ooh! A bloody flamethrower.

 

Disclaimer: I don't know if it was verified whether this was really posted by Maierhofer. Pero kung siya nga nag-post nito, BENTA. Kung hindi, masaya pa din manlait ng bobo. Rico, mehn,  you rock my world.

Gud day every one, im Rico Maierhofer, i really dont read forums and stuff, i just want to apologize to the lasalle community for not winning this year championship, me on behalf of my teammate, we really did our best, i would like also to clear that it is not my middle finger i used due to my second technical foul, i really want to help and i did cry going to the dugout leaving my team to a war. that segment, i am just signaling my index finger to my own teammate jv. i am sad because some people think that i really do, i am a lasalite and doing that bad thing is not in our vocabulary, we learned a lot of good thing to lasalle and i am so proud to be one of you guys, love you all.

With comments now... Let's ignore the grammatical errors, kawawa naman, mukhang hindi ata pumasa ng grade school English.

Gud day every one, im Rico Maierhofer, i really dont read forums and stuff, i just want to apologize to the lasalle community for not winning this year championship, me on behalf of my teammate, (dalawa lang kayo sa team?) we really did our best, i would like also to clear that it is not my middle finger i used due to my second technical foul, i really want to help and i did cry (i hope you cried out of shame) going to the dugout leaving my team to a war. (uy finally, gumamit ng period. kala ko commas lang alam mo eh. and war? WAR?!) that segment, i am just signaling my index finger to my own teammate jv. i am sad because some people think that i really do (really do...? suck?), i am a lasalite and doing that bad thing is not in our vocabulary, (sobrang appropriate use of 'not in our vocabulary' and konti na nga lang laman ng vocab mo, babawasan mo pa?!) we learned a lot of good thing to lasalle ( lolz, ano daw?) and i am so proud to be one of you guys (but i doubt they're proud you're one of them), love you all. (aww, screw you too)

Hay si Maierhofer,  maybe he meant well. Can't say his heart isn't in the right place. But his head seriously belongs up his ass.

Hooray for Meg's 10th Anniversary party. And hooray for Michi for inviting us "Ancheta sisters"

Since we were scheduled to have a quiz for Xianxu the next day, I cram-studied Hull 25 and 27 in 1.5 hours. And akala ko matalino na 'ko dahil na-gets ko naman. But no, the next day, ibang chapter yung quiz. Just frikken perfect.

Anyway... Buti nalang masaya yung Meg party. And twas so fun seeing Lionel, Michi, and Raymond (kahit na si Raymond nakikita ko pala sa school, hehe).

I'm proud to say that these pics came from my camera (ohnoes, bakit ako may camera? i'm turning into Lionel!) and that I dint have to waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait for Lionel to upload so I can steal from his Multiply site  

To add to the collection of Lionel-Kei pictures: 

 

 

 

 

It's Michi in her Avril-esque make-up and get-up!

Goal namin ni Lionel mag-10celeb photos...

1. Champ from Hale (ako lang ba or mukha siyang wax statue? basta mas hottt pa rin si Jerome Lily!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. David Cook!

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Raymond Ang

4. Rabeh Al-hussaini (Move over Chris, my heart goes to Rabeh now)

5. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND... Simon Hot-kins!

*faint*

Hindi na umabot ng 10 celebs. Nag-faint na ko after Simon Atkins and his fedora hat...

More photos here

Here's the setting: Hospital cafeteria. Tired of staring at a computer screen for hours. No TV. No means of entertainment other than a school notebook and Probability and Martingales by David Williams.

So I start "reading" Chapter 7: An Easy Strong Law. Must appear to be very interested in book so as to avoid getting small talk.

Oh wait, additional info: Been "flirting" with this male nurse, who looks so much like an un-panot Gec Chia by the way, just so I could sneak out of my room to wifi. Ok ok, I know, how undignified of me. But I gots to email my friends from time to time. So there, damn you friends, you made me flirt, tsk. Anyway...

Male nurse spots me in the cafeteria and walks towards my table. Crap men. Suppose that X1, X2, ..., are independent random variables and that for some constant...

So, what's the story? *Damnit. My appreciation of the easy strong law now interrupted. Story?!*

Well, in a nutshell... It's about... *Hmm. Come to think of it, he's kinda cute. But must not reveal secret dork-identity*... a bunch of X's... dealing with a lot of... um... uncertainty.

*Way to go. Dorks in my head having a laugh*

Ah. So ex-boyfriends... or ex-girlfriends ba?... feeling insecure about themselves? *Ahlavet. Dorks in my head going hysterical now*

Well, that's one way to put it. *I'll never look at random variables the same way again. So may insecurities din pala sila noh. Aww, poor variables*

That's kinda sad.

I know. *Please go away now, I need a moment. Dorks in my head rolling around gagging and laughing out loud*

I must've seemed like a pathetic romantic. Ohhh friggin' well. Moral lesson: When, for any particular reason, I feel that I will be stuck in someplace for a very looooooong amount of time, I will bring a more interesting book.

nagpagupit din ako!!! yaaay.
haha, yun lang.
hope they win!!!

Ever felt like you needed an escape from it all?

EH BAKIT HINDI KA NAG-OKTOBERFEST?! Ha?

Saya lang. Sobra.

We stayed dun sa aircon marquee place thing pero puro oldees pala and sobrang crucru sa pagka-boring yung program dun...

This is the beer-chugging contest. In fernez, mejo exciting naman kasi flowervase-sized ung glass of beer.

These are the "Oktoberfest Babes" a.k.a. "Mahirap kumita ng pera guysss so please wag niyo kami masyado laitin kahit chipas ng dance number namin"

This is the best host in the history of the world. As in sobrang na-entertain yung papel na kausap niya.

 

 

 

 

 

 

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR. Na 600 plus meters long. World record, yay. Natupad na pangarap ko magka-world record. Oo babaw. Yknow in life, you should dream big, but sometimes you just gotta settle for something less... Yun eh.

So nag-GA nalang kami kasama ng mga jumping jologs kasi mas happening dun...

"Kami poh ang Rivermaya!" Saya. They played yung mga Rivermaya classics like Ulan, Elesi, 214. Weird lang kasi andun din sa Oktoberfest si Rico Blanco. Wooh, tension. Pero finally nagka-masa appeal na si Jason. Must be the hair?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Si Ariel and Maverick (nagpapanggap lang ako na kilala ko sila, ok? yun yung sabi nung mga katabi namin sa crowd eh) plus dalawang guys na working hard for the moneh tulad ng Oktoberfest Babes.

Saya ng fireworks. Hwoaaaaaaah. In Japs' words "It was like the gods were pissing on all of us"

Third Eye Blind (sabi ng dad ko dati: Yung blind... *sige dad, kaya mo yan*... Blind Three... *na-fee-feel ko na, say it*... Three Blind... *dizizit*... Three Blind Mice?... *there you go dad*) as seen from the sound booth. Iba talaga ang may "artist" connections, ahlavet. Will post videos when I feel like it. In the meantime...

Ayun eh. Pwede na ko mamatay guysss. Yay. I asked if we could have a picture... habang nakapila siya sa CR. So yun, background ng pic na 'toh: Portalet pareh.

So there goes a close-to-perfect night. Perfect sans a few awkward conversations and the fact that my camera ran out of battery when we went backstage. Galing galing. Oh well, mental picture nalang. Oops, kulang ata sa memory space. Deleting AMF... 30%... 56%... 88%... 100%. Oooooh, bliss. Oye.

(not another rant post?!)

Hindi naman.

So dumaan kami ni Baba sa Babble training kanina... Surreal grabe. Surreal...

- seeing our Babble batchmates, alumni, ex-teammates... Reunion?!

- seeing the now-very-very-thin cheerdancers and lifters... kumain kayo guys please. diet? bad yan.

- watching the Band practice for halftime on Saturday (grabe lupit nito! goosebumps. woaaaaah drumline like ne-er before!)

- nung nag-"guys guys" na si coach, lalapit na dapat ako sa huddle but wait, hindi pala kami kasali

- seeing Mr. Tolentino (el Negro de Tolentino! wahaha, benta) in his butt-hugging skinny slacks. Ganoon pala pag law school, noh?

- realizing that I missed stretching (Si Baba nga na-miss daw mag-split!)

- ang PROPS! woah.

- seeing the comp uniform! Woaaaaaaah! Hello spart-ABS! Grabe impact (simula pa lang may impak na!) pero I'm so thankful na graduate na ko sa Babble hahaha

- watching the comp routine, of course. Super nag-level-up ung team, lupit ng routine, sana talaga ma-perfect nila on Sunday. For the win!

Yun lang. Sabog post. Just had to mark this day. Makes me loooooove my course all the more...

Ok, hello interest rate hedging strategies... Missed me?

(From Azrael's blog)

September 5, 2008 will never be the same again, as the the popular American alternative rock band - Third Eye Blind will be having a big concert along with the Filipino rock band in line with the kick off of the San Miguel Beer Oktoberfest Siento Bente. 120 days celebration of the annual San Miguel Beer Oktoberfest, the biggest and grandest and long running fiesta in the Philippines. Plus the annual fiesta is now officially recognized by the Department of Tourism.

The venue of the kick-off event will be in the street of San Miguel Avenue in Ortigas. Four big stages wll be set up, and each stage will have a different showcase of music genres: pop, rock, reggae, acoustic and alternative music.

The line up of bands on September 5 is composed of over 40 bands, including Third Eye Blind and also our finest Filipino rock bands like Rivermaya, The Dawn, AfterImage, Nyoy Volante, Paolo Santos, Jimmy Bondoc, Nina, Rico Blanco, and many more. Also at the event, there will be games and booths for everyone. There are also games with Efren "Bata" Reyes and PBA hardcourt stars.

And the event will be attempting a Guinesss Book of World Record attempt in having the world largest Beer bar and beer-toasting with the crowd. OYE.

San Miguel is coming out with a limited edition San Miguel Oktoberfest Beer — a new beer that’s full flavored yet lite bodied — sweetish in taste and smooth to the finish

 

Coming? Ticket prices are as follows (text/pm me if you need tickets):

Ticket Type: General Admission Ticket
 - Php 120.00 per head inclusive of 2 San Miguel Pale Pilsens
A General Admission Ticket gains entrance to the longest beer bar section along San Miguel and Julio Vargas avenues ONLY to be able to watch the events happening in any of the four (4) stages and take part in the numerous booths, games & activities in the main area. Entrances are at the intersection of Julio Vargas Avenue & St. Francis Road and intersection of San Miguel Avenue & Lourdes Drive. Tickets to enter the Special Viewing Section for the ThirdEyeBlind concert and Special Oktoberfest Marquee sections are sold separately.

Ticket Type: Special Oktoberfest Marquee Ticket
- Php 300.00 per head inclusive of 3 San Miguel Oktoberfest Beers & food
A Special Oktoberfest Marquee Ticket gains entrance to the air-conditioned tent and longest beer bar section along San Miguel and Julio Vargas avenues. The Special Oktoberfest Marquee Section is located at the Open Space Parking Area along San Miguel Avenue beside Metrobank & in front of the main gate of San Miguel Corporation Head Office Complex. Tickets to enter the Special Viewing Section for the ThirdEyeBlind concert are sold separately.

Ticket Type: Gold Ticket
- Php 1,500.00 per head inclusive of 2 San Miguel Pale Pilsens at General Admission Section and 3 San Miguel Oktoberfest Beers & food at the Special Oktoberfest Marquee Section
A Gold Ticket gives access to the privilege few to a Special Viewing Section to be the closest to watch ThirdEyeBlind perform live. In addition, the Gold Ticket gives access to all other sections specifically the Special Oktoberfest Marquee with three (3) San Miguel Oktoberfest Beers plus food and the General Admission (Longest Bar) Area with two (2) San Miguel Pale Pilsens.

Hindi naman ako GANOON ka-bored. Kailangan lang sa "work"

One of dem wuttadorkiness websites said that "A mathematician is like a blind man in a pitch dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there"

I have no idea what that means. But I think that's the point. And I can relate. As in I am the wannabe mathematician in the dark room. At hindi lang aimlessly nangangapa, desperately hollering na. "Black cat! BLACK CAT!"

Anyway, I promised that I wouldn't have another rant post about the best course in the world. Even if the rain makes me emo...

So siguro math majors lang makaka-relate. Kung hindi kayo maka-relate, well, count yourselves lucky. Really.

Dictionary of Definitions of Terms Commonly Used in Math Lectures

The following is a guide to terms which are commonly used but rarely defined. In the search for proper definitions for these terms we found no authoritative, nor even recognized, source. Thus, we followed the advice of mathematicians handed down from time immortal: "Wing It."

CLEARLY:

I don't want to write down all the "in- between" steps.

TRIVIAL:

If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class.

OBVIOUSLY:

I hope you weren't sleeping when we discussed this earlier, because I refuse to repeat it.

RECALL:

I shouldn't have to tell you this, but for those of you who erase your memory tapes after every test...

WLOG (Without Loss Of Generality):

I'm not about to do all the possible cases, so I'll do one and let you figure out the rest.

IT CAN EASILY BE SHOWN:

Even you, in your finite wisdom, should be able to prove this without me holding your hand. [BENTA! I can imagine DocMara saying this. And I can imagine myself going "But DocMara, please hold my hand, I'm trembling..."]

CHECK or CHECK FOR YOURSELF:

This is the boring part of the proof, so you can do it on your own time.

SKETCH OF A PROOF:

I couldn't verify all the details, so I'll break it down into the parts I couldn't prove.

HINT:

The hardest of several possible ways to do a proof. [Therefore, we should simply ignore the hints in our long tests. Clearly]

BRUTE FORCE (AND IGNORANCE):

Four special cases, three counting arguments, two long inductions, "and a partridge in a pear tree."

SOFT PROOF:

One third less filling (of the page) than your regular proof, but it requires two extra years of course work just to understand the terms.

ELEGANT PROOF:

Requires no previous knowledge of the subject matter and is less than ten lines long.

SIMILARLY:

At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as before.

CANONICAL FORM:

4 out of 5 mathematicians surveyed recommended this as the final form for their students who choose to finish.

TFAE (The Following Are Equivalent):

If I say this it means that, and if I say that it means the other thing, and if I say the other thing...

BY A PREVIOUS THEOREM:

I don't remember how it goes (come to think of it I'm not really sure we did this at all), but if I stated it right (or at all), then the rest of this follows.

TWO LINE PROOF:

I'll leave out everything but the conclusion, you can't question 'em if you can't see 'em.

BRIEFLY:

I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster.

LET'S TALK THROUGH IT:

I don't want to write it on the board lest I make a mistake.

PROCEED FORMALLY:

Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning (popular in pure math courses).

QUANTIFY:

I can't find anything wrong with your proof except that it won't work if x is a moon of Jupiter (Popular in applied math courses).

PROOF OMITTED:

Trust me, It's true. [For the win! Lagay ko kaya 'toh sa ProbSet...]

Haaaay, grabe, worst nightmare ko yung matawa sa math jokes. Yiiiiiikes...

Coping mechanism lang siguro 'toh. Given all the crap that's going on (told you rain makes me emo) and the fact that I'm super nervous for our report tomorrow. Actually, hmm, desensitized na pala ako. I don't care if mapahiya ako in front of our coursemates, like if I don't know a particular uy-first-year-pa-yun theorem by heart. I don't care so much if I fail the long test (and I most probably did. Almost surely. With probability one. Almost everywhere). I just want the "M" appended to BS in BSM AMF. I just want to get this over with.

Cheerdance pa on Sunday! Tas ddaan pa kami ni Baba sa Babble training on Thursday. Must not bother to put on mascara that day. I'm sure maiiyak lang ako. Sa tuwa. Sa inggit. Sa panghihinayang...

Damn this stupid rain.